Movie Review: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Titus Welliver, T.J. Miller

I should have known that when I heard the line “My face is the warrant” from Titus Welliver that I was in for a certain kind of cinematic “treat”. I actually went into Transformers: Age of Extinction with a little bit of hope that it could actually be good. The trailers looked awful, but I had faith in Mark Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci that they wouldn’t have signed on for a crappy movie. One would assume they saw the first three movies and knew what they were getting themselves into. This is the fourth film in this Michael Bay series, but we have a brand new set of characters thanks to returning screenwriter Ehren Kruger. Wahlberg and Tucci must have seen something different in this script that prompted another go after the first trilogy ended. Surely they weren’t just doing it for the residual checks that will come down the road.

Wahlberg is seen tinkering around in his barn as engineer and inventor Cade Yeager. He loves salvaging old machine parts of all sorts trying to make robots and other homemade inventions in hopes of earning a buck or two. He lives there with his college bound daughter Tessa (Pelz), and they are flat broke. Eviction notices are piling up as Cade can’t seem to make a profit off his creations. Cade and his friend Lucas (Miller) buy an old semi-truck at a run-down theater in hopes of breaking it down for parts. After spending some time with it back at the barn, it starts to come alive and Cade realizes that it’s a Transformer. Oh no, it’s not just some random Transformer, its OPTIMUS PRIME!

This big reveal can’t stay a secret for too long. There is a government project called “Cemetery Wind” led by Kelsey Grammer’s Harold Attinger. His team is led by Titus Welliver’s James Savoy, and they come knocking on the Yeager barn door pretty quickly. The project plans on eliminating all of the known Transformers that survived the attack on Chicago which happened in the original trilogy. Let’s not forget about Stanley Tucci who comes into play as a scientist trying to build his own type of Transformers. An all-out war ensues between Optimus Prime and his fellow Autobots versus these new Transformers that have come into play. Cade, Tessa, her boyfriend Shane (Reynor) and the rest of the humans are along for the ride as they follow the Transformers and their battle from Chicago to Beijing to Hong Kong.

I already feel exhausted trying to remember what happened or what didn’t happen during that 2 hours and 45 minutes I won’t get back. Most movies that are that long better have a decent plot and interesting characters in order for that kind of runtime to feel warranted. This has NONE of that. In what kind of cinematic world do we live in where we allow a movie that is this long with no redeeming qualities to exist? There is no need for a Transformers movie to be this long, yet all four of them have exceeded a two hour run time. The story is a series of explosions, attacks, and battles repeated over and over each taking place in a different city cranked up some ridiculously high sound volume. With such high octane and fuel going into this movie, there are about two different tempos going on. The cinematography is so frantic that the camera wizzes around so fast that you can’t see straight which is even more problematic if you see it in 3D. Am I already getting that old that it was hurting my eyes? The other tempo comes at that the opposite end of the spectrum with the multitude of “slo-mo” shots with our various characters running away from the action in order to survive. I would understand one or two but it was so excessive it was comical.

Let’s not forget all of the added moments of unnecessary bits, one-liners, and cheesy declarations that further add on run time. Screenwriter Ehren Kruger penned the second and third film, so he is very familiar with this series and working with Michael Bay. I wonder if they just sat around and thought of the most obnoxious and ridiculous lines of dialogue imaginable. A bad script typically leads to some bad acting. Have no fear as that concept still holds true here. Mark Wahlberg is doing a really good impression of Andy Samberg’s impression of Mark Wahlberg that he used to do while on Saturday Night Live. If you’ve ever seen Samberg’s sketches, you know what I’m talking about. Stanley Tucci comes off a bit better as there is a bit of campiness with his character that Mr. Wahlberg couldn’t pull off. Then there's poor Nicola Peltz, who does good work on Bates Motel, but is left screaming “Daaaaaad!” or “I’M. NOT. LEAVING. MY. DAD!”

I suppose one could say that you know what you are getting yourself into when you see any sort of Michael Bay movie. Do you go in expecting it to be this dumb, loud, action film? Yes. However, I don’t think that means it has to be completely stupid, over-the-top, and laughable or that he gets a free pass for how the final product turns out. I feel like making a Transformers movie could work. You could have decent characters, witty dialogue, and a movie that clocks in under two hours. Isn't this supposed to appeal to kids? I don't have any kids yet, but I am curious if a young moviegoer would sit through that run time? Are the explosions enough to keep them interested?  Godzilla is a good example of how you take movie that has some camp and make it fun and exciting. With so many awful one-liners, slo-mo runs, explosions, and fits of rage thrown around, I started to wonder if Bay and Kruger were trying to make the worst movie possible? Did they think they were making gold and has the audience been had in some sort of meta sense? I’ve talked to numerous people who have seen Transformers: Age of Extinction, and a majority of them that it was epically awful as well. At least I’m not the only one.

Is it Worth Your Trip to the Movies? Why would you waste $15 and 2 hours and 45 minutes of your day on this garbage?

RATING: 1/2 out of 5 Ticket Stubs

Movie Review: PROMISED LAND

PROMISED LAND
Director: Gus Van Sant
Starring: Matt Damon, John Krasinski, Frances McDormand, Rosemarie DeWitt, Hal Holbrook

I will be honest. I had never heard of the term "fracking" until Promised Land came around. I am assuming that many people do not know what that term is. Fracking is the slang term for hydraulic fracturing which is the core debate in the latest Gus Van Sant/Matt Damon reunion. Steve Butler (Damon) and Sue Thomason (McDormand) work for Global, a natural gas company that is interested in buying farm land in order to drill for gas. Steve and Sue visit a small rural town in hopes to buy land from residents and offer them thousands of dollars in return depending on the acreage of each property. These are not rich people nor are the farms surviving, so this money could help them out in the tough economy. So they say. They go clothes shopping and drink at the local tavern in order to fit in and appear relatable to the local residents.

Their goal was to get enough signatures and be gone within a couple of days. That idea quickly changes the moment opposition starts to happen. During an initial town hall meeting at the run down high school gymnasium, retired high school teacher Frank Yates (Holbrook) questions the plan for drilling by bringing up concerns and facts from previous drilling attempts in other locations. It is easy to pass him off as the old man curmudgeon, but he is one of the smartest and well educated men in town. Another opposing viewpoint comes from Dustin Noble (Krasinski). He arrives in town at the same time as Steve and Sue and claims he is from an environmental agency. He comes ready to fight with the story of how his family farm was ruined by drilling. He comes with props, banners, and signs displaying the pictures of the dead cows. The town's residents become divided on where to stand. Is it immoral and unethical due to the potential results of the drilling or does the paycheck out weigh that?

Damon and Krasinski wrote the screenplay together as well as starring as the two opposing viewpoints. Damon was supposed to direct it, but dropped out and got his former Good Will Hunting director Gus Van Sant to take over. Do not go into this movie thinking it is going to be this big preachy movie with a binder full of facts and scientific jargon thrown at you. There is no big courtroom scene nor is it based on the story of a specific town. The story is focused more on the character study of the two leads as well as the residents. While I appreciate that the movie is more about the moral struggles of the characters over a legal battle, I still wanted a bit more specificity and discussion about what exactly fracking is and the impacts on the environment. The discussions are pretty elementary and tend to get glossed over. Speaking of elementary, one of the longest discussions happens to be Krasinski explaining it to a bunch of grade school children. I have been looking forward to Matt Damon getting back to writing and Krasinski is a good writing partner for him now than Ben Affleck is off directing.

The script is full of the funny and witty banter that both of the leads are good at playing at. McDormand is always sharp and on point in every performance. You know her character is simply doing her job. Whether or not Sue fully agrees with it, it is her job and she will do what she has to do. Damon’s character knows it is just his job but always seems to be on the verge of flipping sides. Hal Holbrook has had quite a run of playing small, but important, characters recently in Into the Wild, Water for Elephants, and Lincoln. He has another minor role here that I wish would have been fleshed out more. He is so fantastic that I always want to see more of him in every movie. The costume design and cinematography successfully demonstrate the kind of town these residents live in. If you have been to ever been to a small rural town, you know these types of people. This is nowhere near that caliber of work Van Sant or Damon has done before, but it certainly is nowhere near their worst. It did not have the emotional punch that I expected it to give me. Despite that, the relatable characters and struggles keep the story interesting.

RATING: *** 1/2 (3.5 out of 5 stars)