THE LSO VOICE: THE WORST MOVIE EVER?

THE LSO VOICE: THE WORST MOVIE EVER?

In a perfect world I could get paid for writing movie reviews and consider it my full time career along with some acting gigs on stage or on camera. That is not happening right now, so I have your standard full time job sitting in a cube all day. I have had the pleasure of being the movie critic and guest columnist for my work department newsletter for the past year. I have not typically added them to the blog, but I am going to start with this one. For the April Fool's Day issue of the newsletter, I wanted to look back at some of the movies people consider to be the worst of the worst. Here is the article:

In the last issue of The LSO Voice, I shared my love of The Oscars which celebrate the best of the past year in movies. For this special edition of The LSO Voice, let’s look back at some of the WORST MOVIES EVER! We all have definitions of a bad movie. Is it a movie you walked out on? Is it a movie so bad that it is good? What movies are just plain terrible in every regard? Do you find yourself hating a movie that everyone else seems to love? Let’s break it down…

THE RAZZIE AWARDS

Did you know that there are awards each year for the worst movies of the past year? The Golden Raspberry Awards are doled out around the same time as the Oscars. Some of the nominees even go so far as to show up and accept their Razzie Award. The same year Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for The Blind Side, she proudly showed up to win the Razzie for Worst Actress for her bomb All About Steve.

Here are Some of the Winner’s from the 2013 Razzie Awards:

Worst Picture: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2

Worst Director: Bill Condon-The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart-Snow White and the Huntsman, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2

Worst Actor: Adam Sandler-That’s My Boy

Worst Supporting Actor: Taylor Lautner-The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 2

Worst Supporting Actress: Rihanna- Battleship

Worst Screenplay: That’s My Boy

CULT CLASSICS

There are certain movies out there that many consider to be wretchedly bad while other people consider them cult classics. They may even defend the movie for actually being good and leaving an impression on film history. I actually enjoy a few of these titles. You can be sure to find some of these playing as the midnight movie at the Uptown or Lagoon Theaters. Such iconic films include:
1. Showgirls
2. Pink Flamingos
3. Mommie Dearest
4. Plan 9 From Outer Space
5. The Room

WORST OF THE WORST

Then there are movies that are just AWFUL.AWFUL..AWFUL… No matter how you look at it. Truth be told, I actually refuse to see these. I’m going by word of mouth on how stupid they happen to be.

1. Battlefield Earth—One of John Travolta’s many travesties
2. Gigli—Oh, Bennifer.
3. Jaws: The Revenge—Is this really necessary?
4. Norbit—See my note from #1 and replace John Travolta with Eddie Murphy
5. Jack & Jill—Poor Katie Holmes. Still “married” to Tom Cruise at the time.

PAUL’s TOP 5 WORST MOVIES EVER!!!

Why did I waste my time on these pieces of trash?

1. Happy Gilmore—dumbest movie ever.
2. Waterworld
3. Event Horizon
4. Spawn
5. Catwoman
*Honorable Mention: Glitter

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on the worst movies ever. What movie really bugs the crap out of you?

Movie Review: THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2
Director: Bill Condon
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Michael Sheen, Dakota Fanning, Mackenzie Foy, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene)

When we last left off at the end of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, Bella (Stewart) has turned into a vampire in order to save her life after give birth to her daughter Renesmee. Now that she is a vampire, her senses are heightened and she must learn how to control her hunger. In one of the more exciting moments in the movie, Bella and Edward (Pattinson) go off to learn how to hunt. Bella is all too thirsty when she sees a mountain climber barely hanging on. Back at the Cullen home, Renesmee is growing at an alarming rate as she is part vampire and part human. That will be a tough one to explain to Bella's dad (Burke). Renesmee has also been imprinted by werewolf Jacob (Lautner) to protect her against the werewolf clan.

One day when Bella and Renesmee are out playing around, Irina (Maggie Grace) who is part of another coven sees them and believes Renesmee is an immortal child that must have been born as a human and turned into a vampire. She knows this is against the laws and covenants of vampires and reports against them to Aro (Sheen) and the rest of the Volturi clan. The Volturi are one of the oldest covens and are based in Tuscany, Italy. They are thought of as royalty with Aro being the ultimate one in charge. They have strict rules regarding the relationships between humans and vampires.

Alice Cullen (Greene) has a vision that the Volturi are coming and alarms the rest of the Cullen crew. Parental units Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) and Esme (Elizabeth Reaser) gather up vampires from various covens throughout the world to gather and stand up for them against the Volturi. They can bear witness that Renesmee is non-threatening and is part human. In addition to the multitude of vampires, Jacob gathers the rest of the Quileute wolf clan to defend the Cullens.

After five movies, we have come to the end of the film adaptations of Stephenie Meyer's four part teen vampire/werewolf saga. Anyone that is a fan of the books will continue their love with this final movie. They will look passed the cheese ball dialogue or the emotionless Kristen Stewart. To her credit, she actually gives her best performance as Bella in this final movie. The audience I sat with applauded once again when Taylor Lautner took his shirt off as well as during other times that were vital to the story or were key elements of the series. One of my biggest beefs with the series of movies is that they tried so hard to please fans of the book that I do not think they did much to open it up to a newer audience or fan base. Dialogue is ripped right from the book instead of making it better. The tone of the movies stay pretty innocent and simple without ever feeling gritty or nail-biting.

Not only does the movie boast Stewart's best performance, but it also has the best fight sequence. The epic battle at the end will keep you engaged as limbs and heads are ripped off with no mercy. There is even a little twist that could divide the audience to either saying "That's it?" or "That was clever!" The end credits pay tribute to every actor that has appeared in the series even if they weren't in this final movie like Bryce Dallas Howard or Anna Kendrick. Is it bad to say that one of the best parts of the movie is the final credits?

RATING: *** (3 out of 5 stars)